All Things New

Every season of life is an interim or in-between period. Everything should be written in pencil, ready for God to move. 

I'm not a planner. I guess in a way I am, because I plan NOT to plan. Human plans are scary to me because they often leave little room for God's creative and chaotic directing style. Maybe some people would look at my life and see only a confusing amalgamation of sharp turns and bewildering discord. But God has helped me to see through His perspective: it is gorgeous and messy all rolled into one, with His hand woven into the little moments. He has helped me stop desiring a clean-cut, easy, comfortable life. He has dared me to not cling terribly tightly to my plans or my way. And actually, I feel freedom in allowing God's artistry to guide which way I walk. I feel freedom from myself; I feel freedom from the world's unrealistic expectations. I find joy in the chaos and I praise Him for allowing me to be in places where I must depend on Him alone, not myself or the life I think I've built. I can't accept a watered-down version of surrendering my life to God. This isn't always easy. Sometimes I wake up at 2 am and all of these questions are churning around and I feel it in the pit of my stomach. Sometimes I want complete certainty; something concrete- but that's not what we're promised. Living a life etched in pencil can be captivating and beautiful, but it can also be challenging and muddled. In those moments, though, God reminds me that He Makes All Things New. He has to remind me that truth over and over again; each time it stirs my heart to live more radically for Him. He Makes All Things New as he launches us into new seasons, introduces new relationships, gives us new purpose. If I tried to carefully craft and meticulously lay out how the rest of my life is going to sail until I'm 90, I would miss this. I'd be too busy trying to get myself back on the track I think I'm supposed to be on and I would turn my head and my heart away from the marvelous new things God is doing right before my eyes.

My life is not normal by the world's standards. I don't have a 5 year plan. I'm 21 years old, content, and married. I met my husband on twitter four years ago. How much more unpredictable can it get? I don't have career goals, but instead I have daily goals to experience and share God's love more deeply. God has changed what that has looked like in different seasons- I've been a manager, a mentor, a teacher, a cashier, a decorator- I've lived in Massachusetts, Texas, Maine. There's been seasons with school, seasons without it. But in every season, He is faithful, His grace is more than enough, and His provision is sufficient.  I'm confident in saying I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, let alone next year- but I am content and on the edge of my seat for what God does next. I'll be His vessel, ready and willing to step with Him as He Makes All Things New.