~How Soon We Forget~

     "The disciples were astounded. They didn't understand what had happened with the loaves of bread. Instead, their minds were closed." -Mark 6:51-52

     The disciples had just witnessed Jesus do the unthinkable. It was altogether breathtaking and miraculous. They had just witnessed Him feed 5,000 hungry people with only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. They didn't just watch in awe, though. They were actually a part of the miracle in action. Mark says that Jesus "kept giving them to the disciples to give to the people." They were quite literally passing out and sharing the dynamic miracle that Jesus had performed. Even though they had been submerged in this amazing act, just hours later they were full of fear and worry as Jesus got into their boat and the wind stopped blowing. Jesus says they were astounded, they didn't understand, and that their minds were closed. 

     By this point, I was explicitly judging the disciples. How can one witness an unfathomable multiplication of food, then see the son of man calm a storm just by His presence and still be confused and have a closed mind? But in the middle of my questioning, I could almost feel God belly laugh. He spoke to my heart and helped me realize: How often do I do just that? How often might we all do it?  How often does Jesus allow us the opportunity to take part and witness a miracle or amazing work He is doing and we so soon forget, too?

     When we witness Him heal someone or change someone's soul- or when we see elements of His love pour out of people, conversations, and experiences- and maybe He even uses us as a vessel in the process- it's easy to praise Him in that moment- to fully credit the miracle or stirring in our hearts to Him. But how soon we forget the love He drenched us in, the truth He washed over us, the miracle He cascaded in front of us. When a storm comes, we forget. He tells us "Calm down! Don't be afraid!" as He told the disciples in Mark 6:50 when they were petrified of His presence. We, too, often become timid in His presence, lacking the faith in Jesus that is binding; so essential to survive in a storm. We forget the unmatchable work He has done; the gift of salvation He has given; the miracle of eternal life. Instead, our minds are closed and the wind and the waves get into the boat, forgetting to call on the savior whose speciality is chaos.

1.     

 Let us ask Jesus to help us not forget. Let's ask Him to keep the miracles alive in our hearts. That way when a storm comes, our minds won't be closed and we won't be astonished or scared when our savior shows up. There are small miracles in each moment waiting to be noticed and participated in. Jesus is present in the small and the big. He is capable of so much more than our minds can even fathom. I want to be ready for that; waiting and expectant of that. I want to collect all of those miracles in my heart and when doubt, fear, anxiety, incompetence, complacency, or confusion come beating down the door of my heart- those lies won't stand a chance. I don't want to forget.

--Yet I Will Rejoice--

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     This verse overwhelms my heart and always brings me a fresh dose of hope. There are Ten thousand reasons in life not to rejoice; so many distractions and lies lurking around that completely rob us of any kind of joy. That's just it, though- When we look at all of the pain, all of the failures, all of the things happening that don't make sense- when we recognize the reality that sometimes there are seasons when we can't visibly see the fruit and process the fact that things may feel and actually be lifeless and empty- that's when it's so paradoxically beautiful to rejoice anyway. We have the sublime opportunity to fully process the circumstances and still choose joy. To me, that's remarkable. It's difficult and confusing and certainly not popular, but God promises that we will find joy in salvation. He promises to give us strength and carry us to high places. That's enough to altogether overwhelm my heart; to say: I'm exhausted, broken, completely at a loss for words, God, Yet I will rejoice. I think that is the space in which breathtaking things can begin.

    

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Life is uncertain, things rarely go as planned, and I often struggle with feeling inadequate. I have all of these roles and tasks to fulfill and to-do-lists that are literally the length of a football field and God wants me to be still and rejoice? It seems so out of reach, I know. But its exactly in those moments He whispers to my heart that I am His daughter. Through all of the chaos and outbursts and responsibilities, I am His daughter first. As hard as it is to let it sink in, it is not always all about how much I can do at once, how many roles I'm trying to perform in, but simply how I can rejoice in being His daughter. I must accept the invitation to simply be His today, not hanging onto what tomorrow might bring. I have to accept the challenge to invite God into all things in my day.

     

    Before I am a wife or a sister or a friend or an employee or even before I am a bearer of His light, He tells me that I am His daughter. I am His despite my failures and shortcomings, despite my doubting and selfish motives that won't relent. He calls me to be satisfied and rejoice with Him on the throne in my heart. As I find joy in His promises, despite my circumstances, He gives me strength and makes my feet like deer as a I reject the lies that my life is worthless. I want to seek His joy and purpose each day with a grateful heart.

     

10 Songs To Give You Hope

     I actually compiled this list over two years ago, forgot all about it, and came across it recently. All of the songs below still encourage me, give me hope, and bring about an intense wave of nostalgia. Sometimes music speaks to the depths of your heart in ways that nothing else can reach. I love this list because I feel like it encompasses so many aspects of my childhood, teen years, and early adulthood all rolled into one. I've always been drawn to music that speaks truth. I like songs that are raw, honest, and real. Music can speak life into our soul or it can drain it. I've always admired artists of all genres and spectrums who sing anthems about truth and life. Life is cluttered and chaotic oftentimes, but the truth of that needs to be conveyed. Hope can rise up within us as we respond to the truth and life in songs.

     I pray if you are going through a rough time right now these songs encourage you, too. Also, feel free to share some songs in the comments that bring you hope and have special memories.

1. Swim by Jack’s Mannequin

Its all about “swimming” ahead and keeping your head up, being expectant and hopeful for brighter days and no matter how far we start to sink, we can always pull ourselves back up above the water.

2. Love is On Its Way by The Jonas Brothers

This song holds special and personal significance to me. The Jonas Brothers were my favorite childhood band and their music was with me throughout a lot of changing and challenging seasons. This song is such an encourager! It is written to “young hearts”, as the lyrics say and its all about becoming who you were truly meant to be and even if you’re hurting to always remember that “love is on its way”.

3. Beautiful by Mercy Me

I would listen to this song on repeat in early high school and it always makes me cry because its just so powerful. I struggled a lot with self-worth and body-image in the past and this song is all about being His and understanding your worth in God. It says you are “treasured, sacred, and His and all the lies you’ve held inside so long are nothing in the shadow of the cross.”  I couldn’t resist including it because it has been so healing and freeing for me.

4. Fighter by Jamie Grace

This song is all about people’s individual situations, stories, and struggles. But despite the challenges in their lives, they “throw a fist up, feeling stronger everyday”.

5 You Are More by Tenth Avenue North

This song is all about healing from the past. It talks about being “more than the choices that you’ve made and more than the sum of your past mistakes”. Its about being brand new and not defining yourself by your past and looking confidently toward the future.

6. Save Your Heart by Mayday Parade

This song is especially important in our culture today. We all give little pieces of our heart away as we grow, learn, and go through relationships. The song talks about “saving your heart” for the right relationship.

7. Warrior by Demi Lovato

I get chills every time I listen to this. In this song, Demi is open about all of her insecurities and past issues, but she talks about being a “warrior” and proudly wearing her scars from her past. I think it is an opening for lots of young girls to share their stories confidently, too.

8. Fifteen by Taylor Swift

This song makes you laugh and cry all within 5 seconds. Any girl that has ever been 15 can relate completely. Its kind of a silly little song that confirms that you’re not alone in the world as a teenager and that its okay to feel oddly in between child and adult. She talks about friendship and first heartbreak and it sort of serves as a confirmation for young teenagers that its going to be okay.

9. Souvenirs by Switchfoot

This is a good song to invoke positive memories and recall happy times. It also helps to realize the important people in your life and to enjoy each and everyday and treat it as a “souvenir”

10. Brave by Action Item

Action Item has so many positive and uplifting songs and this one is simple, but powerful. Be brave every day.

Forever Friend

This marks the end of an era for me. As I sit here and sip my coffee way too late at night , I am flooded with a flurry of emotions. This is the end of a book series that I have genuinely grown with. Twenty-one books later, this series holds my tears, my mistakes, my victories, my joy- because I have read the books throughout so many seasons of life. First introduced to The Christy Miller series at only thirteen, I was captivated by the honesty and rare elements of the story. I had never read a story so relatable or met a character that felt so much like my friend. Christy was and is my forever friend. At thirteen I did not fully understand or want to welcome in the love of Jesus Christ. All of my teenaged years were spent running away from God- the God who I knew was recklessly pursuing me, yet I could never seem to slow down and let Him catch up. I couldn't seem to let the weight of His love and mercy enchant my heart. The funny thing is, though, while I was petrified, broken, and running away from Him, I was simultaneously reading about Christy's adventures falling in love with Jesus and seeking a relationship with Him. Reading about her pursuit of Jesus didn't scare me away, even though I wasn't ready; it only fascinated me and continued sparking my curiosity. As I grew with Christy and the experiences in her life, I began pondering more on God's love and the invitation He was offering to me.

Today I am in love with Jesus. It didn't happen overnight and I am still growing with Him each day. I am certain, however, that He used this book series as one of the many ways to capture my heart. I am a lover of words and reading; that's how I see the world- through words and stories and strings of beautifully-crafted sentences. The stories in these books spoke to me in ways I'm not sure anything else could have. There are so few books like these, if any. The Christy Miller series follows the life of a girl throughout her high school years, her college years, her married years, and her baby years. Robin Jones Gunn has created something remarkable and inspiring for young women- a relatable tale about everyday life and what it means to follow Jesus as you grow. How awesome is it that I was able to read the High School years books in high school, the College Years books while in college, and the Married Years books shortly after getting married?

I hope that one day I can write books like these; a series that is timeless and inspiring to women. I highly recommend this series or any books by Robin Jones Gunn, for that matter. She is a kind, down-to-earth, and a very talented author who truly has a passion for the gift of writing that God has given her. Share these books with the girls and women in your life. I cannot wait to pass along this series to my daughters someday.

Thrive

 

Sometimes its so painfully difficult to not dwell on past choices or mistakes. Maybe I'm the only one, but I seem to have a constant reel of film spinning away in my head of past conversations and scenarios and the pause button is nowhere to be found. My failures and weaknesses seem to be on neon-lettered billboards as constant reminders. Some days I desperately want to shut it off as I over- analyze and jumble my mind with if-only's and what-if's. I'm trying to view life like a story, though. There are chapters with themes that link together- and it's always being written. As a writer, this is comforting  because it reminds me that my story is constantly changing, evolving, and growing, and it's never too late to keep writing it. At the same time, though, I want to embrace every part of it, instead of trying to erase the complicated and confusing chapters.

A new day. A fresh perspective. A changed outlook. I'm beginning to find serenity in the fact that God's mercies are new every morning. His love doesn't keep score or keep track of wrongs and His grace never runs out or dries up. His love is unchanging and it allows me room to make mistakes and become the woman He has willed me to be. Despite the past, I can have hope in the future and look expectantly towards the next chapter of the story, because it's not finished. 

Thriving amid adversity: Resilience. During dark seasons, don't stop writing your story. There is something so powerful about the ability to not just survive challenging circumstances, but to thrive through them. You do not have to be strong to be resilient; I think resilience is admitting that you are weak and exhausted, but choosing to keep going anyway; reminding yourself that today you can change your story and you can hold on for another sunrise of hope.